I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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