I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
