idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
