im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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