Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
