I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
