Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
