So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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