My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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