Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
