If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
