next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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