our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
