i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize