Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Damn victory sex feels great
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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