Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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