i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
