we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
