I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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