At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
bring money and cleavage
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
