You're completely useless in the revolution.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
