you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
well you can't waste a boner
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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