Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
