he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He did a backflip because drugs
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
