Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
