I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
