I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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