Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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