does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
