you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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