Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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