were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
