awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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