if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
