On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
