but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
