Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
