If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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