So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
