I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
