I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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