Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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