I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
