Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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