do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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