His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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