Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
