remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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