): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
