Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
