Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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